RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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