it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
