i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
