He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wanna go halves on a baby?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize