Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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