why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
