Tell her she can't have a vagina
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
