Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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