He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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