Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
