he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
