did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
