At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
