i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
