Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
