I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
