So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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