Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize