I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
