Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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