The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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