I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
