Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
