My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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