i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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