I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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