At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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