WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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