you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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