and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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