Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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