so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Even my vagina gasped.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
