So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
