so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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