I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
