We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
