my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
