Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
