I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
