i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
