Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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