I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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