I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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