Banned from zoo.
Again?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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