she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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