Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
