Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
