I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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