Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
