operation have a gay friend backfired
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
