Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
