btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
