I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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