i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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