No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I love you. Go after that dick
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
