Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
