I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
