Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
