i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
