I heard we made out
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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