Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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