I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
