I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
