LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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