I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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