Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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