I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
