she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
