I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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