six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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