she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
