she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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