Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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