i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
