haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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